Since I imagine I'll be posting many more drawings, I'm creating this index early on to help keep myself organized. ( Somewhat comprehensive listing of my drawings. )
Okay okay I've seen this in a few other journals and I wanted to try it out, so I hereby announce: ANON MEME. Post anonymously with whatever's on your mind! Vent, squee, share bodily tmi! IP tracking is off in both the dw & lj, so revel in your anonymity. Be as random as you like. ♥
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Oh wise & mighty flist, I have a question for you!
My biggest consumer ambition for the past... oh, 11 years, when my brother first told me of research trying to develop such a product, has been an ebook reader. And, trust me, I'd have nabbed one long ago, but they don't sell them in Brazil (askdjaldkj) and importation taxes doubles the price electronics. I've thus been waiting for the ripe opportunity to fulfill my dreams!
Such an opportunity is arriving! For, lo, my brother is coming in March, and before I could even think of how to awkwardly ask him to pick one up for me, he told me he'd get me one and what brand did I want? (He is impossible in so many ways-- ways you'll probably hear from me at great frustrated length once he's back-- but he can also be pretty sweet.)
So that would be my first question. WHICH BRAND? What I basically want is: a) AN EBOOK READER; b) the ability to upload files, from my computer, via usb. If it can read .txt, .html, .doc, and .pdf, I'll be a happy camper. Ease of use (flipping pages, bookmarking, switching books) and weight are also considerations. The ones I'm most considering atm are the Kindle (2) and the Sony reader. How have your experiences been with these, or others?
SECOND QUESTION. My brother comes in March and I am TRAVELING IN FEBRUARY. I could buy it myself, I guess?!?! In fact, I think I will! This is mostly a question of whether it'd be cheaper for him to buy it in dollars than for me to convert reais -> pounds, though. It'll probably cost the same, I guess? Unless they charge more in one country than in the other. I checked the UK Amazon site, and the price is listed in dollars, actually.
My biggest consumer ambition for the past... oh, 11 years, when my brother first told me of research trying to develop such a product, has been an ebook reader. And, trust me, I'd have nabbed one long ago, but they don't sell them in Brazil (askdjaldkj) and importation taxes doubles the price electronics. I've thus been waiting for the ripe opportunity to fulfill my dreams!
Such an opportunity is arriving! For, lo, my brother is coming in March, and before I could even think of how to awkwardly ask him to pick one up for me, he told me he'd get me one and what brand did I want? (He is impossible in so many ways-- ways you'll probably hear from me at great frustrated length once he's back-- but he can also be pretty sweet.)
So that would be my first question. WHICH BRAND? What I basically want is: a) AN EBOOK READER; b) the ability to upload files, from my computer, via usb. If it can read .txt, .html, .doc, and .pdf, I'll be a happy camper. Ease of use (flipping pages, bookmarking, switching books) and weight are also considerations. The ones I'm most considering atm are the Kindle (2) and the Sony reader. How have your experiences been with these, or others?
SECOND QUESTION. My brother comes in March and I am TRAVELING IN FEBRUARY. I could buy it myself, I guess?!?! In fact, I think I will! This is mostly a question of whether it'd be cheaper for him to buy it in dollars than for me to convert reais -> pounds, though. It'll probably cost the same, I guess? Unless they charge more in one country than in the other. I checked the UK Amazon site, and the price is listed in dollars, actually.
It's not the best likeness of Anne Dudek that I've ever gotten, but it's my favorite of her anyway:
Nose is weird, couldn't get the hair-shading to behave, and she looks oddly flattened in the scan. I like her expression, though!
Mmmmmmmmmmm still hot, still things to do. :9
Nose is weird, couldn't get the hair-shading to behave, and she looks oddly flattened in the scan. I like her expression, though!
Mmmmmmmmmmm still hot, still things to do. :9
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Posts I've read recently and appreciated!
![[personal profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wistfuljane, Act of Derailing: "Here's the thing, derailing* is not whether someone has a relevant/interesting/excellent point to contribute to a conversation or being "on-topic." It's not about intention or space. It's about shifting the discussion away from a central focus, but more importantly, it's about deflecting the focus of attention away from the affected part(ies). It's about drowning or silencing the voices of (a) marginalized group(s), making them invisible in their own space or conversation. It's about the hurtful and harmful effects derailing have on them, about the cost they have to invest in every new iteration of derailment, dismissal and defense of -ism. It's not about you (singular) or a point."
In response to the replieswistfuljane received, she then wrote:
Let's Make This Post About Me: a list of "some of the things I feel like I need to apologize for" vs things "there are no need to apologize to me for". A striking dichotomy.
I've become one of those people who can't stop clarifying: "There have always been attempts at dictating anti-oppression discourse by those in a higher privilege status and changing or dismissing terms to fit their needs than those in a lower privilege status (e.g. men with feminism discourse, white people with racism discourse, etc. etc.). I posted Act of Derailing as a reaction to what I saw as the same type of actions if different circumstances (as in much of the same level of privilege, but different marginalized groups) - or rather applying terms of intersectionality discourse to general or specific -ism discourse, making, to borrow someone's description, an universal rule for all -ism discourse."
On the subject of derailing and kyriarchy,![[dreamwdith.org profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user_other.png)
zvi writes Additional thoughts on mutually assured respect...: "legionseagle made a very interesting comment about parallel discussions of oppression. Using the example of Torchwood, she points out that, kyriarchy being what it is, the same stimulus can provoke conversation on multiple axes of difference. In the specific instance, (Torchwood, the Welsh, race), a lot of people saw British discussion of ethnic and class issues as derailing of discussion about race and sexuality issues, and that this is in no small part due to U.S. dominance of internet conversations, particularly in fandom. I agree with her that this is neither right, nor fair, nor useful for dismantling kyriarchy."
And, tangentially related,mjules writes One Reason Why Western [American?] Culture Makes These Conversations So Difficult: "With an individualistic filter, we often hear things as a personal attack. When someone pegs you as a member of a privileged group, the automatic reaction is to get your feathers in a ruffle and say things like, "I'm not privileged!" or "I'm not a bigot!" Nevermind that these two aren't anywhere close to the same thing, privilege is not something you get to decide. (Bigotry, of course, is.) As I said above, privilege is not an individual trait -- it is a social category and one that you don't get to pick for yourself. [...]
"At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you don't have to be personally prejudiced, bigoted, or an -ist in order to contribute to a system of oppression. Allan Johnson uses the metaphor of a game of Monopoly. You may dearly love your friends or family members with whom you are playing the game, but the purpose of the game itself -- the way it is structured -- means that one of you is going to win, and several of you are going to lose, and the choices you make during the game are very likely to negatively affect the people you love who are playing the game with you."
wistfuljane, Act of Derailing: "Here's the thing, derailing* is not whether someone has a relevant/interesting/excellent point to contribute to a conversation or being "on-topic." It's not about intention or space. It's about shifting the discussion away from a central focus, but more importantly, it's about deflecting the focus of attention away from the affected part(ies). It's about drowning or silencing the voices of (a) marginalized group(s), making them invisible in their own space or conversation. It's about the hurtful and harmful effects derailing have on them, about the cost they have to invest in every new iteration of derailment, dismissal and defense of -ism. It's not about you (singular) or a point."In response to the replies
wistfuljane received, she then wrote:Let's Make This Post About Me: a list of "some of the things I feel like I need to apologize for" vs things "there are no need to apologize to me for". A striking dichotomy.
I've become one of those people who can't stop clarifying: "There have always been attempts at dictating anti-oppression discourse by those in a higher privilege status and changing or dismissing terms to fit their needs than those in a lower privilege status (e.g. men with feminism discourse, white people with racism discourse, etc. etc.). I posted Act of Derailing as a reaction to what I saw as the same type of actions if different circumstances (as in much of the same level of privilege, but different marginalized groups) - or rather applying terms of intersectionality discourse to general or specific -ism discourse, making, to borrow someone's description, an universal rule for all -ism discourse."
On the subject of derailing and kyriarchy,
zvi writes Additional thoughts on mutually assured respect...: "legionseagle made a very interesting comment about parallel discussions of oppression. Using the example of Torchwood, she points out that, kyriarchy being what it is, the same stimulus can provoke conversation on multiple axes of difference. In the specific instance, (Torchwood, the Welsh, race), a lot of people saw British discussion of ethnic and class issues as derailing of discussion about race and sexuality issues, and that this is in no small part due to U.S. dominance of internet conversations, particularly in fandom. I agree with her that this is neither right, nor fair, nor useful for dismantling kyriarchy."And, tangentially related,
mjules writes One Reason Why Western [American?] Culture Makes These Conversations So Difficult: "With an individualistic filter, we often hear things as a personal attack. When someone pegs you as a member of a privileged group, the automatic reaction is to get your feathers in a ruffle and say things like, "I'm not privileged!" or "I'm not a bigot!" Nevermind that these two aren't anywhere close to the same thing, privilege is not something you get to decide. (Bigotry, of course, is.) As I said above, privilege is not an individual trait -- it is a social category and one that you don't get to pick for yourself. [...]"At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you don't have to be personally prejudiced, bigoted, or an -ist in order to contribute to a system of oppression. Allan Johnson uses the metaphor of a game of Monopoly. You may dearly love your friends or family members with whom you are playing the game, but the purpose of the game itself -- the way it is structured -- means that one of you is going to win, and several of you are going to lose, and the choices you make during the game are very likely to negatively affect the people you love who are playing the game with you."
Off to see the police!
ETA: Mischief managed~. I went to get my passport! In Brazil, we get our passports via the federal police, who knows why! AT ANY RATE I WILL HAVE MINE BY THE 17TH, UFUFUFU.
ETA: Mischief managed~. I went to get my passport! In Brazil, we get our passports via the federal police, who knows why! AT ANY RATE I WILL HAVE MINE BY THE 17TH, UFUFUFU.
35 degrees; apparently will last until next week.
*cuddles ice pack*
*cuddles ice pack*
[It's almost 4am and I'm not even sleepy it's so hooooooooooooooot]
Caught on tv a later episode of Ugly Better and really, really enjoyed it! :D Yay! I'd tried out the first episode when the series first started but was decidedly unimpressed-- I did love the colors and design but the characters and their relationships seemed so very, very simple. But! I sensed layers in the relationships and I <3ed all the characters and squeed, laughed, and gasped! at several points. :D I think it's become my kind of show! About a scorned woman who fights (using compassion!) her way to recognition and her kooky friends/exes/enemies/etc! It's light and there's lots of women and it's pretty and I think it's exactly what I need in a tv series right now. I'll be looking to get the first season. ♥
And, oh, also also ( Secret Diary of a Call Girl 3.01 )
Caught on tv a later episode of Ugly Better and really, really enjoyed it! :D Yay! I'd tried out the first episode when the series first started but was decidedly unimpressed-- I did love the colors and design but the characters and their relationships seemed so very, very simple. But! I sensed layers in the relationships and I <3ed all the characters and squeed, laughed, and gasped! at several points. :D I think it's become my kind of show! About a scorned woman who fights (using compassion!) her way to recognition and her kooky friends/exes/enemies/etc! It's light and there's lots of women and it's pretty and I think it's exactly what I need in a tv series right now. I'll be looking to get the first season. ♥
And, oh, also also ( Secret Diary of a Call Girl 3.01 )
Also in other exorbitant purchases today (I'M ON A ROLL), I've acquired a Philips MP4 player with 4 GB! HAHAHAH so modest a model compared to other gizmos I've read about what with 120GB and disco lights and laundry-washing. But it was about the best I could do with the money I was willing to part with and I'm quite happy! I didn't want to break up with my old MP3 player, a Sony piece that stood by me for two years, but then it stopped being recognized by all computers ever, meaning I couldn't change the files on it. I even had a couple of computer technicians look at it and was told the fixin' could only be done by opening it up-- and since the warranty expired a year ago, the cost for that would be better spent on a new gadget.
So, hello Philips player! Let's be friends a long time, okay?
So, hello Philips player! Let's be friends a long time, okay?
zulu says she's willing to put up with me for a few days, so off I go! At the end of February! I've paid for the ticket and everything! lakdjflakdjf! (I'm still waiting on the passport, but the paperwork says I'll have it well in time for the trip.) Now that I've paid I'm all SHITFUCK THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY but I've been wanting to travel for a while, and I won't get another chance for many months, and, akdjfakdjfkljk! IT WILL BE SO WORTH IT. I haven't even begun to think of what other costs there might be! We're considering a day or two in London
Me and England, though! We go way back. It's where in fact I learned English; yes, as a wee child, I had a British accent and dialect! Until we moved elsewhere(s) and my accent eventually evolved into a multi-influenced but mostly New England being. (My whole world was twisted upside down when I learned that not everyone says "knickers"! But knickers are knickers! How could they be called anything else?!) My memories of London, though, are rather limited and of things like me filling in a My Little Pony color book and being proud of my work, only to look at how my sister was doing it all nice and pretty and in the lines! Whereas I had scribbled all over the page. And, oooh, I remember eating ice cream out in the yard. ...You get the idea. When my family & I took a trip back in 1997, we even stopped outside the home where we used to live, but it triggered no memories! How quickly one forgets a babyhood.
ANEEWAY. For the most part we should spend it vegging out in Liverpool. I mean to read and draw and hang out and relax and eat! And have a good ol' time! ♥ I'M SO EXCITED, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I'M SQUEEING ALL OVER THE PLACE. I'm going to escape the heat for a couple of weeks and feel cold! I'm gonna run around a British university campus (maybe go to classes and/or lectures?)! I'm gonna eat wonderful food (
zulu, heads up, I have a vicious chocolate addiction and will want to experiment various baked goods!) I'm gonna meet a good friend! I'm gonna meet other cool people! I will be in a foreign setting, which always makes me feel at home! I'M LOOKING FORWARD EVEN TO THE PLANE TRIPS. WHAT BOOKS SHOULD I TAKE WITH ME, FOLKS? I'VE GOT WINDOW SEATS FOR ALL THE FLIGHTS, MWAHAHAHAHAH (BUT THEY WON'T LET ME TAKE TOOTHPASTE ON BOARD, WTF, I'M GONNA HAVE AT LEAST ONE MEAL BUT I CAN'T SCRUB MY CHOMPERS?!)Oh, things to consider! A suitcase! Clothes! I'll need new sneakers (...I've needed new sneakers for a year now, but might as well use this as an excuse to finally do it?)! I'm gonna have to figure out which art supplies to take! Read up on England! On Liverpool! Gather documents to prove to immigration that I'm not gonna try to stay permanentely and thus not be sent straight back home like dozens (hundreds?) of other Brazilians! Write to my professors saying that I won't be there for the first week of classes (not like we ever do anything then)! Convert my money to pounds; figure out *how* much money to convert!
I'm pretty sure I don't have many British & Irish people on my flist... but there *are* a few, and if you'd like a visit from me and
zulu (we're both very upstanding fangirls, I promise!), let me know! Our plans are still up in the air and I'd love to meet more of my fellow fandomers. :D Alternatively, people who have been there before and want to recommend shows/green places to hit/interesting things to see/cheap places to crash (in Ireland and London), share, please~!(OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG *bouncing!*)
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Memememememememeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem
Comment with the name of a female character (in any show, movie, book, comic, band, etc that you think I'm familiar with) and I'll tell you one thing I love about her. In return, you can do the same in your journal (if you like!).
Comment with the name of a female character (in any show, movie, book, comic, band, etc that you think I'm familiar with) and I'll tell you one thing I love about her. In return, you can do the same in your journal (if you like!).
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Up at ridiculous hours with nothing but frivolous thoughts.
Now that I'm gradually fading out of House fandom, I wonder-- will I ever fangrrl again? Perhaps it'd be for the best if I didn't! But I like to think that fanning is a part of me; I've done it instictively for a helluva long time (the first thing I did with an internet connection was join FF6 fandom-- seriously, my brother put me on so that I could check out the usenet group: I spent hours reading through literally all the threads), and I periodically get hit by a new fannish love.
I suppose I should just wait and see! My new fandom loves generally take me by surprise, anyway. IT COULD POUNCE AT ME WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT.
[And, for the record, fading out of House fandom or not? Nothing but love for![[community profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
alwaysright. Just sayin'.]
Also, don't hate me, BUT I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. "Don't stop! Make it pop!" ...Okay, those aren't the brilliantest lyrics, but it's got other good ones! "Before I leave I'm washin' my teeth with a bottle of Jack~" "I ain't got a care in the world but I've got plenty of beer!" (.....What *is* "crunk"? As in, "I'm talkin' about everyone gettin' crunk; boys tryin' to touch my junk; gotta smack 'em if they get too drunk!")
Listening to Tik Tok, I'd wondered if there were similarities between Ke$ha and Lady Gaga-- the song reminds me of "Just Dance" with the "let's party shamelessly!" But.... I know this'll sound strange, but Gaga feels more wholesome to me? Ke$ha's music, as fun as it is, makes me feel like I'd wake up grimy and humiliated if I lived the life of her song(s); "Just Dance," though, vid and lyrics, makes me feel happy and safe, like my self-confidence would be stronger after one of her parties. EVEN IF SHE MAKES OUT WITH AN INFLATABLE KILLER WHALE. And I felt this way before reading about one of Gaga's intended messages ("Feel like a freak? So did/do I! Let's celebrate our freakdom! Everyone in! Mo-mo-monster!")Also my judgement is compromised by how incredibly hot she is
...............Okay maybe I'd join a Gaga fandom but I'd need stories!
Godddddddddddd i should be in bed
ETA:![[livejournal.com profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
house_cuddy is back for how long???! \o/ Yay!
Now that I'm gradually fading out of House fandom, I wonder-- will I ever fangrrl again? Perhaps it'd be for the best if I didn't! But I like to think that fanning is a part of me; I've done it instictively for a helluva long time (the first thing I did with an internet connection was join FF6 fandom-- seriously, my brother put me on so that I could check out the usenet group: I spent hours reading through literally all the threads), and I periodically get hit by a new fannish love.
I suppose I should just wait and see! My new fandom loves generally take me by surprise, anyway. IT COULD POUNCE AT ME WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT.
[And, for the record, fading out of House fandom or not? Nothing but love for
alwaysright. Just sayin'.]Also, don't hate me, BUT I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. "Don't stop! Make it pop!" ...Okay, those aren't the brilliantest lyrics, but it's got other good ones! "Before I leave I'm washin' my teeth with a bottle of Jack~" "I ain't got a care in the world but I've got plenty of beer!" (.....What *is* "crunk"? As in, "I'm talkin' about everyone gettin' crunk; boys tryin' to touch my junk; gotta smack 'em if they get too drunk!")
Listening to Tik Tok, I'd wondered if there were similarities between Ke$ha and Lady Gaga-- the song reminds me of "Just Dance" with the "let's party shamelessly!" But.... I know this'll sound strange, but Gaga feels more wholesome to me? Ke$ha's music, as fun as it is, makes me feel like I'd wake up grimy and humiliated if I lived the life of her song(s); "Just Dance," though, vid and lyrics, makes me feel happy and safe, like my self-confidence would be stronger after one of her parties. EVEN IF SHE MAKES OUT WITH AN INFLATABLE KILLER WHALE. And I felt this way before reading about one of Gaga's intended messages ("Feel like a freak? So did/do I! Let's celebrate our freakdom! Everyone in! Mo-mo-monster!")
...............Okay maybe I'd join a Gaga fandom but I'd need stories!
Godddddddddddd i should be in bed
ETA:
house_cuddy is back Tags:
My scanner isn't working, CUE PANIC. *panicks!* (PLEASE LET IT BE A TEMPORARY SITUATION)
For now I'm making do with my digital camera. ( Naked back and ass, NSFW. )
Speaking of fanart,camelot_fleet is holding a fanart workshop! I'd take a look, if I were you. And I'm not saying that just because briar_pipe is one of my favoritest fandom presences-- no, wait, it is because of that: she and heather11483 have created a wonderful, friendly, active, and supportive space. I ♥ them. They're an example to be emulated!
So even if you're not a Merlin fan, come and play! Topics include experiences as a fanartist, discussions for traditional & digital materials, resource links, fanart vs. art, beta-workshop, and more. The workshop will be running today and tomorrow (Sunday).
For now I'm making do with my digital camera. ( Naked back and ass, NSFW. )
Speaking of fanart,
camelot_fleet is holding a fanart workshop! I'd take a look, if I were you. And I'm not saying that just because briar_pipe is one of my favoritest fandom presences-- no, wait, it is because of that: she and heather11483 have created a wonderful, friendly, active, and supportive space. I ♥ them. They're an example to be emulated!So even if you're not a Merlin fan, come and play! Topics include experiences as a fanartist, discussions for traditional & digital materials, resource links, fanart vs. art, beta-workshop, and more. The workshop will be running today and tomorrow (Sunday).
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My general downness has affected all my projects, including drawing, but last night I drew for a bit, and again tonight. Feels good to get back into it. I think I've fallen prey once more to the trap that I must exceed excellence; need to remember this is for fun, too.
Last night's sketch ( is NSFW. )
And normally I don't share wip (assuming I ever get back to this piece :P), but, heh, why not. What I worked on tonight; I set out with the intention of portraying sadness, but this came out as more wary? Cautious?
Last night's sketch ( is NSFW. )
And normally I don't share wip (assuming I ever get back to this piece :P), but, heh, why not. What I worked on tonight; I set out with the intention of portraying sadness, but this came out as more wary? Cautious?
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Advertisement time! ♥
My excellentest friend Melanie is writing The 3 Rs, an online comic geared towards teaching about the environment-- problems we currently face, tips on how to be more careful, and lots of bunnies. Aside from the informative aspect, the comic is *brimming* with Melanie's personal touch-- expressions, the aforementioned bunnies, little side-notes, jokes, doodles, expressions... I see her all over the comic, which makes me love it all the more. ♥
Her art has been steadily improving-- check out the latest edition-- in color, in composition, in creativity. And I really enjoyed her week-long special on the holidays, which gave suggestions on how to be green-friendly in gift-giving. ...Yes, this advertisement is a bit too late to take that into consideration for the 2009 holiday season, but the ideas apply all year long, and can be just as well implemented at the end of 2010. :3
Another reason why you should check the comic out is that MELANIE IS MADE OF AWESOME SO THERE. ♥
My excellentest friend Melanie is writing The 3 Rs, an online comic geared towards teaching about the environment-- problems we currently face, tips on how to be more careful, and lots of bunnies. Aside from the informative aspect, the comic is *brimming* with Melanie's personal touch-- expressions, the aforementioned bunnies, little side-notes, jokes, doodles, expressions... I see her all over the comic, which makes me love it all the more. ♥
Her art has been steadily improving-- check out the latest edition-- in color, in composition, in creativity. And I really enjoyed her week-long special on the holidays, which gave suggestions on how to be green-friendly in gift-giving. ...Yes, this advertisement is a bit too late to take that into consideration for the 2009 holiday season, but the ideas apply all year long, and can be just as well implemented at the end of 2010. :3
Another reason why you should check the comic out is that MELANIE IS MADE OF AWESOME SO THERE. ♥
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What bookshop said: "when it's constantly denied, the subtext itself is reduced to pure titillation. The audience gets to flirt with same-sex desire and then safely return to heteronormativity at the end. When that happens so often that it becomes its own genre (bromance), it trivializes the existence of queer sexuality." [...] It's the mentality that, oh, s/he isn't really queer, they're just exploring/ confused/ dabbling around/ "acting out." It's the mentality enabling everything from exodus camps to House & Wilson pretending to be gay for shits & giggles. And it applies to us, within fandom, as much as it applies to the media we consume. Subtext that's never allowed to become text perpetuates the idea that non-heteronormative sexual expression isn't real--and that? That goes way, way beyond normal female interest in men bonking, and harms all of us."
The post also discusses the need to love female characters more in (slash) fandom, and includes a great thread pondering the misogyny of hating Mary Sues.
On the issue of queer women writing m/m slash,paradox_dragon navigates beautifully the complexities of internalized oppression and kriarchy:fizzyblogic moved me: willow has given me a lot to think about in Not Rushing to Either Sex or Climax:
bookshop said: "when it's constantly denied, the subtext itself is reduced to pure titillation. The audience gets to flirt with same-sex desire and then safely return to heteronormativity at the end. When that happens so often that it becomes its own genre (bromance), it trivializes the existence of queer sexuality." [...] It's the mentality that, oh, s/he isn't really queer, they're just exploring/ confused/ dabbling around/ "acting out." It's the mentality enabling everything from exodus camps to House & Wilson pretending to be gay for shits & giggles. And it applies to us, within fandom, as much as it applies to the media we consume. Subtext that's never allowed to become text perpetuates the idea that non-heteronormative sexual expression isn't real--and that? That goes way, way beyond normal female interest in men bonking, and harms all of us."The post also discusses the need to love female characters more in (slash) fandom, and includes a great thread pondering the misogyny of hating Mary Sues.
On the issue of queer women writing m/m slash,
paradox_dragon navigates beautifully the complexities of internalized oppression and kriarchy:- So we are not really asking, "Is it possible for queer women to oppress queer men?" I would say no, because we do not hold privilege over them. We are really asking, "If a queer woman who has internalized homophobia writes something that perpetuates it, can it harm queer men who also experience homophobia?" In which case I would answer, "Yes."
[...] The waters are further muddied by the fact that, to some degree, queer women have been forced to adopt and identify with the culture and experiences of queer men because male privilege has dictated that cis queer men get the lion's share of the attention and representation in the queer community. We are asked to accept queer (mostly gay, almost always cis) men as our avatars in pop culture, government, the "gay rights" debate, etc. So, to what degree can queer women appropriate a culture with which we have been forced to identify and whose members hold institutional privilege over us?
fizzyblogic moved me: - I'm a man. I identify as queer, and refer to myself as gay, because it is quicker than detailing the facets of my orientation. I have crushes on people regardless of gender (panromantic), I find sex squishy, bleh, unappealing and overrated except when it's someone I'm in love with (demisexual), I'm sexually attracted to men in general and not women in general (homosexual), my heart needs to be in a relationship with more than one person (polyamorous), and other things (gender dysphoria, Dissociative Identity Disorder, transvestism) have an impact on some of these facets. It's complicated. 3% of me is still a lesbian from one dominant personality, 90% of me believes sex is only interesting when there's an enormous depth of feeling behind it, and 7% of me really wants to bang hot dudes no matter how I feel about them.
[...] I don't just want to read about queer people being queer; I need to read about queer people living their lives, and also being queer. I need to read about queer doctors, astronauts, leaders, workers, kings, subjects, I need to read about queer people, not just queer people. Those are the kinds of stories that take a heck of a lot of digging, years and years of reading and watching and listening to constant heteronormative stories that make my heart physically hurt until you find one, final, shining gem of a queer story that is about the story and not the queerness.
But there is fandom. There is slash fandom, both m/m and f/f, and that is a place I know I can find what I need. Yes, I have found a million and one stories I had to back-button because there were homophobic stereotypes. I have also found more slash fanfiction stories that involve people being queer, having queer relationships, and living life than I have anywhere else.
willow has given me a lot to think about in Not Rushing to Either Sex or Climax:- I'm not for climax. I'm not for designated moments of significance like penetration (a shimmer pull back of the curtain to fic and yaoi here). I've been told all my life that how I feel is a dysfunction and needs to be fixed; not individually of course, not yet. But everywhere I turn I see studies on orgasms and women's orgasms and articles, scientific or otherwise on how to have them and the various types and possible multiple orgasms and warnings not to do certain actions that may damage nerves and prevent orgasms and the need to self analyse and have therapy and deconstruct mental blockages and traumas and there's so much noise about rising above the wall and getting over and how it may involve finding just the right partner and not limiting options.
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